Weather to Invade

Writing Prompt: A group of aliens have came to colonize earth, but are quickly wiped out by massive storms that the earthlings call “natural disasters”. They soon admire the humans for surviving earth for so long.

“You call it… what?” Tangrin Ahsfelt, ambassador for the Horrack Assimilation Fleet, the same fleet that failed to return from their Earthly conquest, stared with abstract horror at Dr. J. P. Noble.

“Weather.” Dr. Noble tapped at the various charts sprawled out across the table, “We call it weather, and frankly it’s getting out of hand.”

Tangrin nodded, his ears dangling loosely round his chin, eyes retracting from their bulging state. “I see, and this weather,” Tangrin slurred the foreign word around his sour tasting gums, “is single handedly responsible for the destruction of our fleet?”

Dr. Noble shrugged, “Your fleet chose to land in what you could surmise to be danger zones,” the Doctor tapped a pen distractedly against several points upon a map. “Indonesia, prone to attacks from the sea, what we call Tsunamis. The Hawaiian islands, at high risk of hurricanes…” Dr. Noble caught Tangrin’s misunderstanding, “Attacks from the sky. And the Philippines, which are no stranger to Earthquakes… attacks from the land.”

At the sounding of each weatherborn attacker’s name Tangrin reeled, his elongated back bone curling up, nostrils sinking, hair retreating beneath his pinkish skin. Horrackian, it should be noted, are naturally defensive creatures, and much alike the way a tortoise might retreat within its shell, a full grown Horrackian is capable of retreating inside of its own stomach.

“Weather.” Tangrin shook his shrinking head.


Seven days prior to Tangrin’s arrival.

Aspirin, Captain of the Horrackian Command Ship, Oscar, had called his crew to battle stations. They were about to descend upon the Pacific Ocean, specifically Indonesia.

Oscar had been primed, shields fully rendered, legs extending for the soft grounds of earth. All around the Ship armaments were summoned into action.

“Oscar,” Aspirin called on the Ship’s computer, “estimated time of arrival?”

“42 seconds, sir.” the Ship replied, its voice an amalgamation of prerecorded messages and drawn out hissing, “But I must warn you…”

“There’s no time.” Aspirin collected his Class Act Proton Phaser, a shiny silver gun that had been marked with garish blue runes and hung from a purple leather strap, and left the Ship’s deck.

The computer sighed, “Don’t worry, it wasn’t important. Oh, wait, yes it was.”

The Ship’s docking station was brimming with Horrackian soldiers, suited up against Earth’s atmosphere, each wielding some variation of a Photon Blaster or Plasma Blade. There were pistols that could decimate entire mountain ranges, shotguns that could tear apart entire islands, axes that could slice through the thickest and toughest of alloys. In all, the crew were a force to be feared.

Several maintenance drones hurried about the dock, helping the crew suit up, arm up, and prepare for attack. Steam flooded the room from a series of overhead pipes, neutralising the atmosphere. There were a dozen Horrackian Heavies, a thousand Horrackian Horde, and more Horrackian Slicker Beast than you could shake a stick at…

“On my count!” the Captain cried as the entire docking station began its descent, “Let’s show these Earthling Pogwoggles what the Horrackian are really made of!”

Pogwoggles, it should be known, are swamp dwelling pig-like critters who are said to have less common sense than they do heads, and of heads they have none.

Those were the last words that Aspirin would ever speak.

No sooner than the docking station hit land did an enormous wave come screaming out of the Ocean.

An attack from the sea.

A Tsunami.

The Horrackian crew drowned, and those that didn’t drown were crushed by the immense body of water (their skeletal structures far too soft to bare any weight), and those that didn’t drown or weren’t crushed by the water simply died out of surprise.

Aspirin, by some mad stroke of luck, had survived. But upon seeing his army defeated in one swift blow from the Earthling planet, he shot himself, deciding that it simply wasn’t worth the paperwork to go on living.

Copyright © K R Perry 2019

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